Should I stay or should I go

One day you could get a call from a headhunter for an attractive new job. This opportunity is proposed as a logical next step in your career.

You feel honored that the headhunter has thought of you. And honestly, lately you have scrolled through company profiles with more than average attention. Your curiosity is stirred. Which company is it? What is the company about? What is going on in the organization, now and in the future? What does the job entail? Would it be a personal fit?

You decide to explore the opportunity with the headhunter by phone. Within a week a personal and informal meeting follows. You exchange information about the nature of the role and the context of the job. Your interest and enthusiasm are fueled. You realise that, given your knowledge, experience and personality, you are a good candidate for the job.

List of pro’s and con’s

Together with the headhunter you create a list of pro’s and con’s. You are giving up quite something. A permanent job, but also an organisation and a team that feel comfortable. Leaving that for an unknown future. Why would you do that?

Even so, with this list, you still don’t feel you get the real insights. There seems to be more, but it doesn’t surface in the discussions with the people around you.

Personal review

You want to make a considered and robust choice before you enter into discussion with said company. Your self-exploration needs deepening:

  • What exactly is the choice about?
  • What meaning do I seek in my new role?
  • Which desire do I develop if I choose this?
  • What will I leave behind?
  • What options do I have?
  • Dare I take the leap?

It is important to engage an independent coach to go through these questions. Through this you will enter the  inner conversation with yourself. About your motives, drivers and the perfect scenario. You learn (dare) to express this in words. You are able to ask yourself the relevant questions, recognise and acknowledge your emotions, and you activate your intuition. Giving you a robust answer to the question: Should I stay or should I go?

The relevant questions and the real conversation

This question will follow quickly: may the headhunter introduce you as one of the two or three candidates for this position? If the answer is ‘yes’, then, after your self-exploration, you will be able to engage in the real conversation. You have increased your chances for a good positioning of your ambitions.


A good choice is the result of free exploration of your options. Also, if the opportunity arises out of nowhere. If a headhunter calls, take take the time to ask yourself the right questions. Not only to support a robust choice but also to position yourself well for your potential future role.


Maaike Strack van Schijndel – MSvS Coaching & Advies  –

Marion Welling – Welling Search –